When people talk about weight loss, they always discuss the upside. You know, smaller clothes, sexier curves, stronger, happier, healthier.... but it's not always as simple as that. Is anything ever? What many people fail to notice, is the emotional side to weight loss. I find this journey to be a roller coaster of highs, lows, loopy loo's and fast turns. Since completing the Ultimate Reset, I've lost 30 lbs. I am officially pre baby weight. Pre FIRST baby weight. It's a HUGE mile stone, one that I couldn't weight to reach! It was my first big - mini goal. I'm really proud of myself and its a HUGE accomplishment for me.
But there are a few things I didn't take into account. Like saggy skin. I can't believe that just 30 lbs has left me with extra skin already. If I can be honest for a moment, it scares the living shit out of me. If I've got saggy skin at 30 lbs, how am I going to look when I reach 60 lbs lost? or 80 lbs lost? It flat out terrifies me! If you've ever been overweight in your life, you know that self esteem issues that often come along with being on the larger side. So here is my fear, Am I going to lose weight, FINALLY get to where I want to be, but be unable to love myself because I have extra skin?
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that I'm losing. But right now I hide behind my weight. Will I soon be hiding behind extra skin? I have absolutely no intentions of stopping my weight loss, but this is something I feel that many people face. I think it goes from one thing you are ashamed of, to the next.
Another issue I've already noticed are extra wrinkles where they shouldn't be! And boobs - not so perky! Turns out weight loss isn't good for that! lol It's the craziest thing. I've never been one to worry about wrinkles. Heck, we all will have the one day wont we? But lately I think...Hot dog, where did YOU come from? The only thing I can think of is to stay hydrated and moisturize. I'm not sure what I will look like the further I go along, but I must keep going.
Keeping the momentum up can be hard. Despite my weight loss, I continue to see myself as being the same as I was. I don't know why but whenever I look in the mirror I still see the old me. When I go shopping, I pick out the "old me" size and am ALWAYS surprised at how big they are! It's a quiet reminder that my journey emotionally is just as important as it is physically.
Quitting is not an option. even if I do have to deal with wrinkly, saggy skin. I can't quit. Pushing forward and being HEALTHY is my #1 priority. I can't lose hope. It's just as much mental as it is physical. In fact, I'd have to say it's even more mental that physical. Heck, it's easy to get up and exercise. It's not easy to see yourself as beautiful when you've been hating you for so long.
If you can relate to me at all, I'd love to hear from you. It's certainly not an easy feat!
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